shotawars:

shotawars:

some guy just called my number thinking i was a male prostitute, and he started talking to me about how much he could pay me so i pulled up gunshot noises on my computer and started screaming and he panicked and hung up

911 jUST FFUCKING CALLLLED ME IA AMC LAUGHHING SO HARD I TOLD THEM THE SITUEATION AND I’M STULL FUCMKING LAUGHING BECUASE NO W HTE’YRE TRACING THE GUY TO ARREST HIM FOR TRYING TO SOLICITEA ND PAY FOR SEX

I’VE DONE A GOOD

(via yorkerdeer)

jackingtonoff:

if sugar we’re going down doesn’t still get u amped every time u hear it then u ain’t no friend of mine

(via thingsgetstranger)

niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

(via iamanafricanprincess)

p0ndorica:

it really pisses me off how people who are good at maths/science/history/etc are seen as the intelligent ones and will go far in life but also seen as the “boring” ones, but writers and artistic/creative people are seen as the interesting and talented ones but also unintelligent and doomed to be unsuccessful like shit bro how the fuck do any of us win 

(via suicideisjustthebeginningg)

bebroom:

a woman’s body is not for you. if she wants to cover it she should feel free and safe in doing so. if she wants to expose it she should feel free and safe in doing so. it is not an indication of her self-respect but an indication of her preferences for whatever reasons she chooses — none of which are your business or concern.

(via e-vaporate)

Yeah my boyfriend got to my tumblr earlier oops